You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize