i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
