Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
