handjob tips. give me some.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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