Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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