My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
