I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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