she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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