Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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