so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
