I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
