oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
