I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Even my vagina gasped.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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