im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
