that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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