garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
