how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
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i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
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At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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