I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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