I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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