I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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