if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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