There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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