Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
In America we eat man semen.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
