He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
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we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
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You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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