Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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