I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
