they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I supernannyed him into submission
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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