it wasn't lemon gatorade
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
