Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
