Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We have so much sex to catch up on
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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