What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
