She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
