We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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