i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
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