super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
