Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I am morally bankrupt
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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