you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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