There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize