Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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