Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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