Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
