my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
