please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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