i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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