the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
