Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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