We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
