I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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