Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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