Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
