thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
