Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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