I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
