When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
