Nicole vs. Life
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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