It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
