Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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