I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
