Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
