im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
